Information and resources

Coercive control is a deliberate and sustained pattern of behaviour used by an abuser to dominate, manipulate, and entrap another person, usually within an intimate or family relationship. It removes the victim or survivor’s freedom, self-worth, and sense of safety.

It can include emotional, psychological, and practical abuse, with or without physical violence. The behaviour is designed to create fear, dependence, and compliance.

Since December 2015, coercive and controlling behaviour has been recognised as a criminal offence in England and Wales under Section 76 of the Serious Crime Act 2015, where it occurs between current or former partners or family members who live together.

Core Features

• Ongoing and cumulative: A repeated pattern, not a single incident.
• Designed to dominate: Control over many or all aspects of a person’s life.
• Hidden and subtle: Often invisible to outsiders.
• Creates fear, dependence, and isolation: Victim or survivors may feel unable to leave or seek help.

Examples of Coercive and Controlling Behaviour

Recognising the Signs

A person experiencing coercive control may:

• Appear anxious, withdrawn, or tense when their partner is mentioned or present.
• Have little autonomy or struggle to make independent decisions.
• Frequently check in with their partner or seek permission.
• Minimise or excuse their partner’s behaviour.
• Cancel appointments or appear inconsistent in contact.
• Describe “walking on eggshells”.
• Express confusion or doubt about their own memory (gaslighting).
• Show shame, guilt, or self-blame.

Impact on Victim or Survivors

Coercive control can cause long-term emotional and psychological harm, including:

• Anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress.
• Physical health problems are linked to chronic stress.
• Suicidal thoughts or self-harm.
• Low self-esteem, loss of identity, and loss of confidence.
• Difficulty trusting others or regaining independence.

Victims or survivors may stay in or return to abusive relationships because they:

• Fear retaliation or escalation.
• Lack financial independence.
• They are isolated from support.
• Believe the abuse is their fault.

Professional Considerations

• Not all abuse leaves bruises. Coercive control is often the most harmful and enduring form.
• Victim or survivors may not recognise their experience as abuse or may only share parts of it.
• Coercive control is a known risk factor for serious harm and domestic homicide. Use the DASH risk checklist to assess this.
• Abuse can continue before, during, and after separation. Leaving does not always end the risk.
• Intersectional factors such as disability, immigration status, culture, or neurodivergence may intensify control and limit help-seeking.

Safe Questions to Ask

Use open, trauma-informed questions to explore safety and control:

• “Has anyone ever made you feel afraid, monitored, or controlled in your relationship?”
• “Do you feel able to make your own decisions about money, time, or who you see?”
• “Are there things you avoid doing because of how your partner might react?”
• “Do you ever feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells?”

Avoid confronting or labelling the abuse unless the victim or survivor does. Focus on validating their experience and offering support.

Responding Safely

• Listen and believe: Disclosures may be gradual.
• Create safety: Ensure privacy and never question someone in front of the perpetrator.
• Record clearly: Use the victim or survivor’s own words. Describe controlling behaviours and their impacts.
• Assess risk: Use the DASH checklist and relevant safety planning tools.
• Refer: Link the person with specialist services such as GDASS.
• Support autonomy: Provide information and choices, not instructions.

Economic abuse is a form of domestic abuse where one person controls another’s ability to acquire, use, or maintain money and other economic resources. It is often used as part of coercive control and can severely limit a victim or survivor’s independence, safety, and ability to leave an abusive relationship.

Economic abuse is recognised in law under the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 (England and Wales), which defines it as behaviour that has a substantial adverse effect on a person’s ability to acquire, use, or maintain money or other property, or to obtain goods or services.

Legal Context

Under the Domestic Abuse Act 2021, economic abuse is recognised as a form of domestic abuse when the parties are personally connected. It can also overlap with:

• Coercive or controlling behaviour offences
• Fraud or identity theft
• Benefit fraud or misuse of public funds
• Employment sabotage or workplace harassment

How Economic Abuse Works

Economic abuse is not only about money. It includes any behaviour that restricts a person’s financial autonomy, employment, access to credit, housing, or essential resources. It is often subtle, presented as ‘budgeting’ or ‘protectiveness’, and can continue or escalate after separation.

Economic abuse can occur:

• Alongside physical, emotional, or sexual abuse
• Without other forms of abuse
• After a relationship ends, for example, through child maintenance control, debt, or legal abuse

Common Examples of Economic Abuse

Recognising Economic Abuse

Victims or survivors may:

• Not have access to their own bank card or account.
• Be unaware of their household’s financial situation.
• Ask for support with essentials despite being employed.
• Appear financially dependent on their partner.
• Express fear or anxiety about spending money.
• Disclose job loss or frequent absence from work related to their partner.
• Have debts they did not agree to or understand.
• Say that their partner “manages all the money” or controls their spending.

Impact of Economic Abuse

Economic abuse can:

• Trap victims in unsafe relationships due to financial insecurity.
• Causes long-term debt, poverty, or housing instability.
• Damage employment history and career progression.
• Create high levels of stress, anxiety, and trauma.
• Continue after separation, affecting recovery and independence.

Many victims describe feeling unable to leave because they cannot afford to live independently, particularly if they have children or no access to public funds.

Intersectional Considerations

Some victims face added risk or barriers:

• Women are more likely to experience economic abuse from male partners.
• Older victims may be targeted for pensions or assets.
• Disabled people may rely on the abuser for care or benefit management.
• Migrant victims may have No Recourse to Public Funds (NRPF).
• Neurodivergent or learning-disabled victims may be particularly vulnerable to financial manipulation.

Professionals should be aware that discrimination, dependency, and immigration status can intensify economic abuse and restrict access to support.

Safe Questions to Explore Economic Abuse

• “Do you have full access to your money and financial accounts?”
• “Has anyone prevented you from working, studying, or accessing benefits?”
• “Are you ever made to ask for money or explain your spending?”
• “Have you ever been put into debt or made responsible for money you did not agree to?”

Use open and non-judgmental questions. Victims or survivors may not recognise these behaviours as abuse.

Professional Actions and Considerations

• Validate their experience: Economic abuse is real, harmful, and serious.
• Keep clear records: Especially around debt, fraud, or financial threats.
• Avoid giving direct financial advice: Understand the risks before suggesting changes.
• Work with specialist services: Particularly where debt, housing, or legal control are involved.
• Use the DASH checklist: Economic abuse often coexists with coercive control and high risk.
• Support financial safety planning: For example, opening a safe account, checking credit files, or securing documents.

Specific Support

Surviving Economic Abuse (SEA)
www.survivingeconomicabuse.org
National charity raising awareness and supporting survivors of economic abuse.

Turn2Us
www.turn2us.org.uk
Support with financial hardship, benefits, and grants.

StepChange / National Debtline
Free and confidential debt advice.

Emotional abuse involves deliberate and sustained behaviours that undermine a person’s mental wellbeing, confidence, and autonomy. It can be subtle or overt and often develops gradually as part of a broader pattern of coercive control.

Unlike physical abuse, emotional abuse leaves no visible injuries, but its impact is serious, long-lasting, and deeply damaging. While emotional abuse itself is not a standalone criminal offence, it frequently forms part of coercive and controlling behaviour, which is a criminal offence under the Serious Crime Act 2015.

Common Forms of Emotional Abuse

How Emotional Abuse Works

Emotional abuse is often difficult to recognise, especially for victims. It may be dismissed as “normal conflict” or minimised by both the abuser and the victim. However, it is intentional and persistent, designed to:

• Control the victim’s thoughts, feelings, and actions
• Undermine their confidence and independence
• Cause fear, confusion, and self-doubt

Indicators Someone May Be Experiencing Emotional Abuse

Victims may:

• Describe feeling “crazy,” “oversensitive,” or “never good enough”
• Constantly second-guess themselves or apologise excessively
• Seems fearful of making mistakes
• Show signs of low self-esteem, shame, or guilt
• Withdraw from friends or activities
• Express confusion about the relationship or their own reactions
• Say things like “It’s not that bad – it’s just words” or “I can’t tell if it’s me”

Impact of Emotional Abuse

Emotional abuse can be as harmful as physical abuse. Many survivors report it has the most lasting impact on their mental health. It can lead to:

• Depression, anxiety, and panic attacks
• Suicidal thoughts or self-harm
• Chronic stress and fatigue
• Difficulty trusting others
• Post-traumatic stress symptoms
• Impaired ability to parent, work, or engage socially
• Increased vulnerability to further abuse

Intersectional Considerations

The form and impact of emotional abuse are shaped by identity and life context. For example:

• Racialised survivors may be gaslit about racism or experience cultural isolation
• LGBTQ+ victims may face threats of outing or denial of identity
• Disabled or neurodivergent victims may be manipulated using care needs or communication differences
• Older adults may face infantilising or degrading language around age or capacity

Professionals should consider how discrimination, dependency, or isolation may compound emotional abuse and limit access to support.

Safe Questions to Explore Emotional Abuse

Use calm, open-ended questions that focus on feelings rather than labels:

• “Has anyone ever made you feel afraid, ashamed, or constantly at fault?”
• “Do you feel able to express yourself freely in your relationship?”
• “Has anyone ever made you question your memory, perception, or reactions?”
• “Do you feel your thoughts or feelings are dismissed or mocked?”

Victims may not identify their experience as abuse. Focus on the behaviour and its emotional impact, not terminology.

Professional Response

• Believe and validate what is shared – emotional abuse is real and harmful
• Avoid minimising the abuse because there are no physical injuries
• Link to coercive control – emotional abuse is rarely an isolated behaviour
• Record disclosures carefully, especially if patterns emerge over time
• Use the DASH checklist where appropriate, as emotional abuse often indicates high risk
• Encourage specialist support – services can help victims recognise and name what’s happening
• Avoid ‘why’ questions, which can imply blame. Focus on what the person feels and what support might help

Harmful Cultural Practices (HCPs) are culturally embedded forms of abuse that are justified in the name of tradition, culture, religion, or honour. They often involve control, coercion, and violence, and disproportionately affect women, girls, and marginalised communities.

These practices are abusive and illegal in the UK, regardless of cultural justification. They are often hidden, normalised, or minimised within families and communities and are significantly underreported due to stigma, fear, and pressure to protect family or community reputation.

HCPs fall within the wider definition of domestic abuse and frequently involve multiple perpetrators, including parents, extended family, or community members.

Types of Harmful Traditional Practices

Common Patterns and Behaviours

• Surveillance and restriction of movement or communication
• Pressure or threats relating to marriage or ‘family honour’
• Abuse involving multiple perpetrators (family or community)
• Threats of shame, dishonour, or disownment
• Isolation from friends, education, or employment
• Emotional blackmail (“You’ve brought shame on us”)
• Being taken abroad under false pretences to facilitate abuse
• Threats of homelessness or abandonment

Signs Someone May Be at Risk

Be alert to warning signs, particularly in young people and vulnerable adults:

• Anxiety or reluctance about family trips abroad
• Restrictions on friendships, clothing, or social contact
• Pressure around marriage, dress, or behaviour
• Sudden school absence or withdrawal from education
• Multiple family members are involved in monitoring or decision-making
• Disclosures framed in cultural or family expectations
• Unexplained injuries or signs of trauma and depression

Risk and Impact

Harmful Traditional Practices can cause:

• Severe physical harm, infection, and chronic pain
• Long-term trauma, depression, or PTSD
• Permanent injury or death (e.g. in honour killings or FGM)
• Loss of autonomy, education, and life opportunities
• Increased suicide risk linked to isolation or coercion

Victims may experience extreme isolation and fear disclosure due to loyalty, shame, or community backlash.

Legal Protections in the UK

• Forced Marriage – Illegal under the Anti-social Behaviour, Crime and Policing Act 2014
• FGM – Illegal under the Female Genital Mutilation Act 2003
• Honour-Based Abuse – Prosecuted under existing offences (assault, coercive control, harassment, etc.)
• Civil Protections – Forced Marriage Protection Orders (FMPOs) and FGM Protection Orders (FGMPOs)

Professionals can raise safeguarding concerns or apply for protection orders without requiring the victim to press charges.

Safe Questions to Ask

Use private, trauma-informed, and culturally sensitive language:

• “Do you feel safe and in control of your personal decisions, like marriage or education?”
• “Have you ever felt pressured to do something to protect your family’s honour?”
• “Has anyone talked about plans for you to marry?”
• “Are you worried about being taken abroad?”
• “Is there anything you’re not allowed to do that others your age can do freely?”

Avoid assumptions about culture or belief. Let the victim describe their experiences in their own words.

Professional Response

• Respond immediately – HCPs can escalate quickly and often involve multiple perpetrators
• Never mediate with family or community members
• Refer to safeguarding teams and the Forced Marriage Unit (FMU)
• Seek advice from a specialist HBA or FGM services
• Use interpreters cautiously – never use family or community members
• Consider emergency safety planning and protection orders
• Record factual, objective notes, especially if there is a risk of travel or harm

Specific Support

Karma Nirvana
www.karmanirvana.org.uk | Helpline: 0800 5999 247
Specialist support for victims of forced marriage and honour-based abuse

Forced Marriage Unit (FMU)
www.gov.uk/forced-marriage | Tel: 020 7008 0151
Government advice and assistance for those at risk

NSPCC FGM Helpline
Tel: 0800 028 3550 | Email: fgmdedicated@nspcc.org.uk
Confidential advice and reporting line for FGM concerns

Non-Fatal Strangulation (NFS) occurs when someone deliberately restricts another person’s breathing or blood flow by applying pressure to the neck, throat, or chest without causing immediate death. It is a high-risk, high-harm form of abuse used to instil fear, assert dominance, and maintain control.

NFS is often misunderstood or underestimated. Many victims show no visible injuries, yet the internal damage and long-term health risks can be severe or fatal.

As of 7 June 2022, NFS is a specific criminal offence under the Domestic Abuse Act 2021 in England and Wales.

Key Facts

• NFS is a strong predictor of homicide.
• Victims are seven times more likely to be killed by a partner who has strangled them before.
• It is often linked with coercive control and sexual violence.
• Just 4.5 kg of pressure (roughly the weight of a small bag of apples) can block blood flow to the brain.
• Victims can lose consciousness within seconds and suffer brain injury within a minute.

Types of Non-Fatal Strangulation

Why It’s Often Missed

• Lack of visible marks or bruising
• Victims may minimise the incident (“He just grabbed me”)
• Symptoms can appear hours or days later
• Misdiagnosis of delayed effects (e.g. dizziness, hoarseness, confusion)
• Professionals may not ask directly about strangulation
• Occurs during sexual abuse or so-called “rough sex”, complicating disclosure

Signs

Physical Indicators:

• Sore throat, hoarseness, or loss of voice
• Difficulty swallowing or breathing
• Neck pain, stiffness, or tenderness
• Headache, nausea, or vomiting
• Red spots (petechiae) on the face, eyes, or mouth
• Dizziness or loss of consciousness
• Memory gaps or confusion

Neurological / Psychological Indicators:

• Disorientation or difficulty concentrating
• Short-term memory loss
• Sudden mood changes or emotional instability
• Anxiety, panic, or post-traumatic stress symptoms
• Suicidal thoughts or extreme fear

Safe Questions to Ask

Use trauma-informed and plain language. Avoid using the term strangulation at first, as victims may not recognise it.

• “Has anyone ever put their hands around your neck or tried to stop you from breathing?”
• “Have you ever felt dizzy, faint, or blacked out during an incident of abuse?”
• “Do you have any pain, bruising, or difficulty speaking or swallowing?”
• “Do you remember what happened after that incident?”

Risk and Impact

• Even one incident can cause a stroke, blood clots, or brain damage
• Symptoms can worsen over the following 36 hours
• Strong predictor of future homicide
• Triggers intense fear, trauma, and ongoing control
• Victims may normalise the behaviour or be too frightened to disclose

Legal Context

Since 7 June 2022, it has been an offence in England and Wales to:

“Intentionally strangle another person or do any other act that affects a person’s ability to breathe, intending to cause harm or fear.”

• No visible injury is required for prosecution
• Applies even if the victim does not lose consciousness
• Maximum sentence: 5 years’ imprisonment
• Separate from assault charges and recognised as a distinct domestic abuse offence

Professional Response

• Treat NFS as a medical emergency and a safeguarding priority
• Refer immediately to emergency healthcare – internal injuries can be fatal
• Record the victim’s exact words and any visible or described symptoms
• Do not wait for visible injury – always take disclosures seriously
• Complete a DASH risk assessment and consider MARAC referral
• Support the victim to access specialist services and legal protection
• Consider protective measures (Non-Molestation Orders, DVPNs/DVPOs)

Safety planning is a collaborative, dynamic process between a professional and a person experiencing domestic abuse. It aims to:

• Identify and anticipate risks in both immediate and ongoing situations
• Reduce harm by creating practical strategies for safety
• Increase a sense of control and autonomy for the individual
• Empower the victim/survivor to make informed choices

Safety planning is not a one-off task. Plans must be reviewed regularly as risks evolve, circumstances change, and new threats emerge.

Core Principles

1. Victim-focused
   • Tailor plans to the individual’s experiences, needs, and wishes
   • Ensure the victim/survivor retains control over decisions
   • Respect their pace and readiness to act
2. Practical and realistic
   • Focus on achievable steps and contingencies
   • Avoid strategies that are aspirational but unsafe or unlikely
3. Dynamic and responsive
   • Update plans regularly, especially after incidents, separations, or escalations
   • Consider triggers and patterns of abuse in updating plans
4. Confidentiality and safeguarding
   • Share information only with consent, unless safeguarding duties require disclosure
   • Record decisions and rationale clearly in line with organisational policies
5. Non-judgmental and validating
   • Avoid blaming the victim for the abuse
   • Acknowledge the difficulties in leaving or managing risk

Key Safety Planning Areas

1. Immediate and Emergency Safety

• Identify safe spaces in the home: ideally, rooms with multiple exits, no weapons, and a phone
• Develop escape routes and practice them safely
• Pack an emergency bag containing:
  • Identification, bank cards, cash
  • Keys, medication, prescriptions
  • Important documents (birth certificates, legal papers)
  • Spare clothing and essentials for children or pets
• Establish a code word or signal with trusted contacts
• Ensure knowledge of how to call 999 quickly, including silent options (e.g., dial 999 then 55 on a mobile)
• Consider alarm devices or safety apps, where appropriate

Professional guidance:

• Discuss and rehearse scenarios tactfully; do not coerce the victim into action
• Record which escape routes and emergency items are feasible

2. Personal Safety Outside the Home

• Vary daily routines (travel routes, times, public transport)
• Identify safe locations: friends, family, workplaces, public spaces with security
• Encourage awareness of surroundings and having a charged phone accessible
• Discuss trusted contacts who can intervene or check in

Professional guidance:

• Assess the risk of the abuser monitoring routines or communications
• Consider safety when attending appointments or social events

3. Children and Dependents

• Teach children how to call emergency services safely
• Identify safe rooms or areas within the home for children
• Age-appropriate planning: Children should not carry adult responsibility
• Account for pets: include them in emergency planning if separation or leaving is necessary

Professional guidance:

• Document discussions about children carefully
• Consider safeguarding duties and liaise with children’s services if necessary

4. Digital and Technological Safety

• Review and secure devices, accounts, and apps
• Disable location sharing on phones and devices
• Use strong, unique passwords; avoid shared or predictable passwords
• Be alert to spyware, monitoring apps, or GPS tracking
• Guide online anonymity and digital footprints

Professional guidance:

• Advise against confronting the abuser about device restrictions
• Consider referrals to specialist services for technological abuse

5. Leaving or Separation Planning

• Recognise heightened risk at separation, post-separation, or during legal proceedings
• Discuss safe timing, location, and methods for leaving
• Connect with specialist services for:
  • Safe accommodation
  • Legal protection (Non-Molestation Orders, Occupation Orders, DVPNs/DVPOs)
  • Financial support or benefits advice
• Plan a communication strategy with family, friends, and authorities

Professional guidance:

• Map out scenarios for emergency departure
• Avoid written plans that could be discovered by the abuser
• Emphasise confidentiality and the importance of support networks

Professional Role in Safety Planning

1. Listen and validate
   • Believe disclosures, avoid minimising or questioning the victim’s experience
2. Assess risk
   • Use tools like the DASH checklist for structured risk assessment
   • Note previous incidents, patterns, and escalation triggers
3. Empowerment over instruction
   • Offer options, not directives
   • Respect the victim’s choices, even if you would act differently
4. Multi-agency collaboration
   • Liaise with GDASS, safeguarding teams, police, housing, healthcare, and children’s services
   • Ensure continuity of care and risk monitoring
5. Regular review
   • Plans should be reassessed after incidents or changes in circumstances

Key Reminders for Professionals

• Balance immediate safety with long-term well-being
• Recognise that written safety plans can increase risk if discovered
• Always consider safeguarding duties for children and vulnerable adults
• Document factual, objective records: include behaviours, risks, and professional advice
• Encourage connection with specialist domestic abuse services like GDASS for ongoing support
• Be aware of intersectional risk factors, including disability, immigration status, culture, neurodivergence, and social isolation

Additional Professional Considerations

• Risk escalation: Recognise signs that the abuser may intensify control or violence
• Transport and travel safety: Assess public transport routes, parking, and vehicle security
• Financial planning: Discuss access to funds, emergency cash, and securing bank accounts
• Legal literacy: Support understanding of protective orders, child arrangements, and civil remedies
• Psychological support: Connect victims with counselling and mental health services

Children and young people are affected by domestic abuse in ways that go beyond physical violence. They may experience direct harm, witness abuse, or live in an environment shaped by fear, coercion, or tension. Even if not directly targeted, exposure to abuse can have lasting consequences.

How Children Experience Domestic Abuse

• Direct exposure: Seeing, hearing, or being subjected to violence, threats, or coercive behaviour.
• Indirect exposure: Witnessing arguments, controlling behaviours, or living in a climate of fear.
• Personal victimisation: Children may be physically, emotionally, or sexually abused by the same or different perpetrators.

Key Facts

• Children living with domestic abuse are at higher risk of emotional, behavioural, and developmental difficulties.
• Abuse affects children of all ages, from infants to teenagers.
• Exposure increases the likelihood of mental health issues, poor educational outcomes, and difficulties in future relationships.
• Children often take responsibility for the abuse, experiencing guilt or shame.
• Protective factors, such as supportive adults and stable routines, can help reduce harm.

Common Impacts on Children

Emotional and Psychological

• Anxiety, fear, or hypervigilance
• Low self-esteem, shame, or guilt
• Depression or withdrawal
• Difficulty regulating emotions or coping with stress

Behavioural

• Aggression, bullying, or anti-social behaviour
• Self-harm or risk-taking behaviours
• Regression in developmental milestones (e.g., bedwetting, speech delays)
• Difficulty trusting adults or peers

Cognitive and Developmental

• Trouble concentrating or learning difficulties
• Impaired problem-solving and decision-making
• Preoccupation with the safety of self or family members

Social

• Isolation from friends or extracurricular activities
• Difficulty forming healthy relationships
• Increased vulnerability to exploitation or abuse outside the home

Why Children’s Experiences Are Often Missed

• Children may not disclose abuse or may protect caregivers by denying incidents.
• Emotional or behavioural changes may be misinterpreted as “naughty” or “difficult” behaviour.
• Professionals may underestimate the impact of witnessing abuse without visible injuries.

Safe Questions to Explore Impact on Children

Use age-appropriate, open-ended questions in a safe and private setting:

• “How has what’s happening at home been affecting you?”
• “Do you feel safe at home, at school, or with other adults?”
• “What helps you feel calm or safe when things are difficult?”
• “Has anyone ever hurt you or made you scared in your home?”

Professional Response

• Believe and validate children’s feelings; do not dismiss behaviours as “attention-seeking”.
• Document observations and disclosures factually.
• Work collaboratively with safeguarding teams, education, health, and specialist domestic abuse services.
• Assess risk using structured tools, e.g., DASH for adult victims or safeguarding risk assessments for children.
• Support resilience by promoting routines, school engagement, safe relationships, and age-appropriate coping strategies.

Key Messages for Professionals

• Exposure to domestic abuse is harmful, even without direct abuse.
• Early identification and intervention reduce long-term negative outcomes.
• Children’s voices must be central in safety planning and risk assessment.
• Multi-agency working ensures holistic safety and support.

Sexual abuse is any sexual activity carried out without a person’s free and informed consent. In domestic abuse, it is often used as a method of control, punishment, or coercion.

It includes rape, sexual assault, coerced sexual acts, or degrading sexual treatment. Myths about “marital rights” or obligations are never a justification. Consent cannot be given under fear, coercion, threats, or manipulation.

Key Facts

• Sexual abuse within intimate relationships is a crime, regardless of marital status.
• Marital rape has been illegal in England and Wales since 1991.
• Many survivors do not label their experience as sexual abuse but may describe it as “gave in,” “had no choice,” or “did it to keep the peace.”
• Shame, stigma, and fear of disbelief often prevent disclosure.
• Sexual abuse often coexists with coercive control and physical violence.

Common Forms of Sexual Abuse

Why Sexual Abuse Is Often Missed

• Survivors may frame it as “obligation” rather than abuse.
• Shame, fear of judgment, and stigma can prevent disclosure.
• Professionals may avoid asking directly due to discomfort.
• Long-term coercion may be normalised or minimised by survivors.
• Abusers often use gaslighting to blur boundaries (“You wanted it,” “It’s what couples do”).

Signs

Physical

• Unexplained injuries to the genital areas or thighs
• Recurrent urinary tract or sexually transmitted infections
• Pregnancy despite reported contraception use
• Avoidance of medical examinations

Behavioural / Emotional

• Anxiety, shame, or withdrawal when sex is mentioned
• Reluctance to go home or see partner
• Sudden changes in sexual behaviour (avoidance or hypersexualisation)
• Low self-esteem, depression, or suicidal thoughts
• Speaking about “keeping the peace” sexually

Safe Questions to Ask

Use open, sensitive, and supportive prompts:

• “Sometimes people are pressured or forced into sexual activity by their partner. Has this ever happened to you?”
• “Do you always feel able to say no to sex or intimacy if you want to?”
• “Has anyone ever pressured you into pregnancy, or stopped you using contraception?”
• “Has a partner ever made you feel unsafe, humiliated, or scared during sexual activity?”

Risks and Impact

• High risk of trauma, PTSD, and long-term psychological harm.
• Increased risk of sexually transmitted infections, unwanted pregnancy, or reproductive complications.
• Can escalate to life-threatening violence.
• Survivors may develop chronic mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, substance misuse, and suicidal thoughts.
• Deep impacts on trust, intimacy, and future relationships.

Professional Response

• Believe disclosures; survivors often fear not being believed.
• Use clear, non-judgmental language; avoid terms like “marital obligation.”
• Record disclosures factually in the survivor’s own words.
• Refer to safeguarding and medical services (e.g., Sexual Assault Referral Centres).
• Use DASH to assess wider risk factors.
• Consider a MARAC referral where multiple risks are identified.
• Be mindful of intersectional barriers—survivors from marginalised groups may face additional stigma or cultural barriers.

Specific Support

GRASAC – Gloucestershire Rape and Sexual Abuse Centre
www.glosrasac.org | Free, confidential support for survivors

First Light
www.firstlight.org.uk | Specialist sexual violence services in Gloucestershire

Hope House SARC – Sexual Assault Referral Centre
Tel: 0300 421 8400 | Immediate emotional and practical support, including medical care

Rape Crisis England & Wales
www.rapecrisis.org.uk | 24/7 helpline and online support

Stalking is a pattern of repeated, unwanted behaviour that causes fear, distress, or alarm. It can include monitoring, following, unwanted contact, or intrusive actions.

In domestic abuse, stalking often continues after separation as a way for the abuser to maintain control. It is about power, obsession, and intimidation, not romantic pursuit.

Stalking is a criminal offence under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997, strengthened by the Protection of Freedoms Act 2012, and is recognised as a high-risk factor for homicide in domestic abuse cases.

Key Facts

• 1 in 5 women and 1 in 10 men will experience stalking in their lifetime.
• Stalking is strongly linked to domestic homicide; it is present in the majority of intimate partner killings.
• On average, victim/survivors experience over 100 incidents before reporting to the police.
• Stalking can be physical, digital, or both; technology has increased the reach of stalkers.
• Even “low-level” behaviours, such as sending gifts, can have a cumulative and devastating impact.

Common Forms of Stalking

Why Stalking Is Often Missed

• Behaviours may seem “harmless” in isolation, like sending flowers or waiting outside work.
• Victim/survivors may minimise or normalise it, describing the stalker as “persistent” or “jealous.”
• Professionals may treat incidents separately rather than recognising a pattern.
• Some stalkers appear polite or charming, undermining the credibility of the victim/survivor.
• Technology can make stalking harder to detect; victim/survivors may not realise they are being tracked.

Signs

Victim/Survivor Presentation

• Ongoing fear, hypervigilance, or panic
• Feeling constantly watched or followed
• Lifestyle changes such as moving home, changing jobs, and avoiding certain places
• Anxiety, exhaustion, social withdrawal
• Repeated reports of “minor incidents” to police or professionals

Impact

• Severe psychological harm: anxiety, depression, PTSD, suicidal thoughts
• Financial impact from relocating, replacing devices, or changing phone numbers
• Social isolation and long-term trauma, even after stalking ends

Safe Questions to Ask

• “Do you feel like someone is watching or monitoring you?”
• “Has anyone been repeatedly contacting you when you don’t want them to?”
• “Has anyone shown up at places you didn’t expect them to?”
• “Has anyone used technology, social media, or GPS to track or harass you?”
• “How is this behaviour affecting your day-to-day life?”

Risks and Impact

• Stalking is a key predictor of future violence and homicide.
• Escalation is common; surveillance can lead to direct threats or attacks.
• Victim/survivors live in a constant state of fear, which erodes mental health and independence.
• Children may be exposed to or used in stalking behaviour, increasing trauma.

Professional Response

• Treat all stalking seriously; minor-seeming behaviours can escalate quickly.
• Recognise patterns and document repeated incidents together.
• Use the S-DASH (Stalking Risk Identification Checklist).
• Consider MARAC referral for high-risk cases.
• Advise victim/survivors to keep a diary, save messages, and preserve evidence.
• Include technology checks in safety planning (devices, spyware, privacy settings).
• Legal tools: Stalking Protection Orders (SPOs), Restraining Orders, Non-Molestation Orders.
• Refer to specialist domestic abuse or stalking services.

Specific Support

Paladin – National Stalking Advocacy Service
www.paladinservice.co.uk | Support, risk assessment, and advocacy

Suzy Lamplugh Trust – National Stalking Helpline
Tel: 0808 802 0300 | www.stalkinghelpline.org | Specialist advice and guidance

Technological abuse is the use or misuse of technology to harass, monitor, control, threaten, or isolate someone. It can take place through phones, computers, apps, social media, smart devices, or online platforms.

In domestic abuse, technology is often used to extend coercive control into every aspect of a victim/survivor’s life, leaving them feeling watched, trapped, and unsafe, even in their own home.

It is important to remember that abuse via technology is still abuse and its impacts can be as harmful as physical or emotional violence.

Key Facts

• Technological abuse is a recognised form of domestic abuse under the Domestic Abuse Act 2021.
• It often overlaps with stalking, harassment, coercive control, and image-based abuse.
• Abusers may exploit everyday devices such as phones, smart home systems, or car trackers.
• Victim/survivors may feel unable to escape because the abuse follows them digitally.
• Many do not recognise it as abuse, instead describing it as “jealousy,” “checking up,” or “just how relationships work.”

Common Forms of Technological Abuse

Why It Is Often Missed

• Victim/survivors may minimise it as “normal relationship behaviour.”
• Technology is embedded in daily life, making abuse harder to identify.
• Professionals may not ask about digital safety directly.
• Harassment or tracking may be dismissed as “low-level” when it can indicate high risk.
• Victim/survivors may lack the language to explain how they are being controlled.

Signs

Behavioural / Emotional

• Fearful or anxious about using phone or computer
• Reluctance to talk openly if devices are nearby
• Sudden withdrawal from social media or online spaces
• Expresses feeling “watched,” “paranoid,” or “controlled”
• Signs of isolation from friends, family, or support

Practical Indicators

• Reports of hacked accounts, frequent password changes, or unexpected charges
• Perpetrator appearing at places where the victim/survivor has not shared their location
• Victim/survivor receives constant calls or texts during appointments

Safe Questions to Ask

Ask gently in a private, device-free space where conversations cannot be overheard or tracked:

• “Has anyone monitored or tracked your phone, emails, or social media without your consent?”
• “Do you feel like your partner knows more about your movements or conversations than you have shared?”
• “Has anyone ever taken control of your devices, online accounts, or smart technology in your home?”
• “Do you feel pressured or unsafe when using your phone or computer?”

Risks and Impact

• Psychological harm, including constant fear, stress, paranoia, and anxiety
• Safety risks, such as stalking or physical harm enabled through location tracking
• Reputation damage from impersonation or online exposure
• Isolation, including withdrawal from technology, work, or social connections
• Escalation, as technological abuse is often part of a wider pattern of coercive control

Professional Response

• Believe and validate disclosures, as victim/survivors may fear being dismissed as “paranoid”
• Document factually in the victim/survivor’s own words, including examples and screenshots where possible
• Safety planning, including exploring safer devices such as a new phone or account unknown to the perpetrator
• Support with password changes and privacy settings
• Consider professional advice on spyware or technology support
• Risk assessment using DASH, recognising overlap with stalking and coercive control
• Referral and support through specialist services such as GDASS
• Intersectional awareness, recognising additional risks for LGBTQ+, disabled, migrant, or younger victim/survivors who may rely heavily on technology for identity, connection, or safety